A Lot Of People Ask Me Stupid Fuckin Questions
A Lot Of People Think That What I Say On Records
Or What I Talk About On A Record That I Actually Do In Real Life
Or That I Believe In It
Or If I Say That I Wanna Kill Somebody That
I'm Actually Gonna Do It
Or That I Believe In It
Well Shit If You Believe That
Then I'll Kill You
You Know Why
Cuz I'm A

Criminal
Criminal
You God Damn Right
I'm A Criminal
Yeah I'm A Criminal

Eminem
My Words Are Like A Dagger With A Jagged Edge
That'll Stab You In The Head
Whether You're A Fag Or Lez
Or The Homosex Hermaph Or A Trans A Vest
Pants Or Dress Hate Fags The Answer's Yes
Homophobic Nah You're Just Heterophobic
Starin At My Jeans Watchin My Genitals Bulgin Ooh
That's My Motherfuckin Balls You'd Better Let Go Of Em
They Belong In My Scrotum You'll Never Get Hold Of Em
Hey It's Me Versace
Whoops Somebody Shot Me
And I Was Just Checkin The Mail
Get It Checkin The 'male'
How Many Records You Expectin To Sell
After Your Second Lp Sends You Directly To Jail
C'mon Relax Guy I Like Gay Men
Right Ken Give Me An Amen Aaa Men
Please Lord This Boy Needs Jesus
Heal This Child Help Us Destroy These Demons
Oh And Please Send Me A Brand New Car
And A Prostitute While My Wife's Sick In The Hospital
Preacher Preacher Fifth Grade Teacher
You Can't Reach Me My Mom Can't Neither
You Can't Teach Me A Goddamn Thing Cause
I Watch Tv And Comcast Cable
And You Ain't Able To Stop These Thoughts
You Can't Stop Me From Toppin These Charts
And You Can't Stop Me From Droppin Each March
With A Brand New Cd For These Fuckin Retards
Duhhh And To Think It's Just Little Ol' Me
Mr Don't Give A Fuck Still Won't Leave

Chorus Eminem Repeat 2x
I'm A Criminal
Cuz Every Time I Write A Rhyme These People Think It's A Crime
To Tell Em What's On My Mind I Guess I'm A Criminal
But I Don't Gotta Say A Word I Just Flip Em The Bird
And Keep Goin I Don't Take Shit From No One
I'm A Criminal
Cuz Every Time I Write A Rhyme These People Think It's A Crime
To Tell Em What's On My Mind I Guess I'm A Criminal
But I Don't Gotta Say A Word I Just Flip Em The Bird
And Keep Goin I Don't Take Shit From No One

Eminem
My Mother Did Drugs Tar Liquor Cigarettes And Speed
The Baby Came Out Disfigured Ligaments Indeed
It Was A Seed Who Would Grow Up Just As Crazy As She
Don't Dare Make Fun Of That Baby Cause That Baby Was Me
I'm A Criminal An Animal Caged Who Turned Crazed
But How The Fuck You Sposed To Grow Up When You Weren't Raised
So As I Got Older And I Got A Lot Taller
My Dick Shrunk Smaller But My Balls Got Larger
I Drink Malt Liquor To Fuck You Up Quicker
Than You'd Wanna Fuck Me Up For Sayin The Word
My Morals Went Thhbbpp When The President Got Oral
Sex In His Oval Office On Top Of His Desk
Off Of His Own Employee
Now Don't Ignore Me You Won't Avoid Me
You Can't Miss Me I'm White Blonde Haired
And My Nose Is Pointy
I'm The Bad Guy Who Makes Fun Of People That Die
In Plane Crashes And Laughs
As Long As It Ain't Happened To Him
Slim Shady I'm As Crazy As Em
Inem And Kim Combined Kch The Maniac's In
Replacin The Doctor Cause Dre Couldn't Make It Today
He's A Little Under The Weather So I'm Takin His Place
Mm Mm Mmm Oh That's Dre With An Ak To His Face
Don't Make Me Kill Him Too And Spray His Brains All Over The Place
I Told You Dre You Should've Kept That Thang Put Away
I Guess That'll Teach You Not To Let Me Play With It Eh
I'm A Criminal

Interlude Skit
Aight Look Uh Huh Just Go Up In That Motherfucker
Get The Motherfuckin Money And Get The Fuck Up Outta There
/Em Aight /I'll Be Right Here Waitin On You
Em Aight
Yo Em
Em What
Don't Kill Nobody This Time
Em Awwright God Damn Fuck
Whistling How You Doin'
Teller Hi How Can I Help You
Eminem Yeah I Need To Make A Withdrawl
Teller Okay
Eminem Put The Fuckin Money In The Bag Bitch
And I Won't Kill You
Teller What Oh My God Don't Kill Me
Eminem I'm Not Gonna Kill You Bitch Quit Lookin Around
Teller Don't Kill Me Please Don't Kill Me
Eminem I Said I'm Not Gonna Fuckin Kill You
Hurry The Fuck Up Boom Thank You

Eminem
Windows Tinted On My Ride When I Drive In It
So When I Rob A Bank Run Out And Just Dive In It
So I'll Be Disguised In It
And If Anybody Identifies The Guy In It
I'll Hide For Five Minutes
Come Back Shoot The Eyewitness
Fire At The Private Eye Hired To Pry In My Business
Die Bitches Bastards Brats Pets
This Puppy's Lucky I Didn't Blast His Ass Yet
If I Ever Gave A Fuck I'd Shave My Nuts
Tuck My Dick Inbetween My Legs And Cluck
You Motherfuckin Chickens Ain't Brave Enough
To Say The Stuff I Say So This Tape Is Shut
Shit Half The Shit I Say I Just Make It Up
To Make You Mad So Kiss My White Naked Ass
And If It's Not A Rapper That I Make It As
Bi'ma Be A Fuckin Rapist In A Jason Mask

Chorus 2x
I'm A Criminal
Cuz Every Time I Write A Rhyme These People Think It's A Crime
To Tell Em What's On My Mind I Guess I'm A Criminal
But I Don't Gotta Say A Word I Just Flip Em The Bird
And Keep Goin I Don't Take Shit From No One
I'm A Criminal
Cuz Every Time I Write A Rhyme These People Think It's A Crime
To Tell Em What's On My Mind I Guess I'm A Criminal
But I Don't Gotta Say A Word I Just Flip Em The Bird
And Keep Goin I Don't Take Shit From No One
I'm A Criminal
Cuz Every Time I Write A Rhyme These People Think It's A Crime
To Tell Em What's On My Mind I Guess I'm A Criminal
But I Don't Gotta Say A Word I Just Flip Em The Bird
And Keep Goin I Don't Take Shit From No One
I'm A Criminal
Cuz Every Time I Write A Rhyme These People Think It's A Crime
To Tell Em What's On My Mind I Guess I'm A Criminal
But I Don't Gotta Say A Word I Just Flip Em The Bird
And Keep Goin I Don't Take Shit From No One
I'm A Criminal